THOMAS "YOU'D ONLY KNOW HE'S HALF LATINO BY THIS MIDDLE NAME" OLER
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| Tommy's best "George Lopez"...seriously. |
You might be wondering, how can I effectively write in a blog conducted by a guy who has claimed that he's this generation's Jack Chick? Well, by promising to stay true to his exact format, of course. DUH!
Sex: M
Orientation: He has a shirt of this guy. You be the judge.
Age: He seriously hasn't aged since, like, forever. I think he's one of those guys from Highlander. To add to my suspicion, he's always telling me that he has to go and, "polish his sword".
Race: Half n' Half, I guess. So, that means that his parents conceiving him was probably pretty close to this.
Fave Pastime: Collecting six pack rings all winter and then taking them to boat ramps all over East Tennessee in the spring. I don't quite know what he does there, but he always comes back quacking like a crying duck and then laughing hysterically.
What He Likes in a Woman: Himself!
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| BUDDABING!! |
Catchphrase: Don't be ridiculous. He doesn't have one.
Biggest Mistake: Thinking that the show Two and a Half Men was actually a spinoff of the film Platoon.
Favorite Song: I don't really know. But he has a lot of musician friends, and every time he sees one of them, he asks, "Hey can you play this?" Before they have time to answer he says emphatically, "No, you can't! Because you're too afraid to!" He then proceeds to put on a pair of overpriced sunglasses, slams the apartment door, and goes out for a Pepsi cola.
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| Tommy. Post-Pepsi Cool-Down. |
On MySpace: He told me that MySpace was for conformists and then signed on to Facebook the next day.
Well, that's Tommy in a nutshell. I hope that you, the reader, have a better idea of the guy you're deciding to found an occult for now. I was as objective as possible and surprisingly less vulgar than I thought I would be. Now I'm off to celebrate!
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